Day 5

Ahoy there. Captain Kelly's having a day off so I, first mate Joey am taking hold of the helm for now.

I'm afraid this chapter does contain scenes of animal cruelty, so be warned.

Today we visited what boasts to be the worlds largest crocodile farm, with over 100,000 crocs. This farm professes to have opened in 1950 to help preserve and protect endangered crocodiles. There are other animals to see as well, bears, tigers, elephants and more. You can feed them for 20baht (40p) - so this sounds like a fun day out, especially after our amazing trip yesterday. Sadly we couldn't have been more wrong, and I don't think anything could have prepared us for what we were about to see.

As soon as we arrive we realise that this place isn't quite right (compared to our British standards anyway). It's decaying, smelly, dirty and pretty much deserted. The first animals we saw were babies - chimps dressed in kids clothes and baby tigers too (not dressed up - damn). All in small cages, either going stir crazy or sitting lifelessly. There's also an adult tiger chained up, looking docile and dehydrated. All of these animals you can have your photo taken with for a small price.

We continued further into the zoo. We saw ponies, goats, deer, gazelle, peacocks, eagles, ostriches, and more - all in ridiculously small enclosures with no visible food or water. It seems the only way the animals get fed is if customers feed them... But there are no customers.


The saddest for me was an orangutan, in a cage on his own, his fur all matted and dreadlocked. This supposedly vibrant and wonderful breed of animal looked absolutely demoralised and lifeless. We bought some bananas to give him, but when we threw them into the enclosure he just stared at us helplessly, not even taking the food. After years of being teased by people he's clearly had enough.

The most shocking was probably the hippos in the smallest, shallowest and dirtiest water, and the bears laying lifelessly in the small bit of shade they had in their enclosure. Then the elephants chained up swaying side to side monotonously after years of performing shows and tricks.


None of the animals we walked past so much as stirred from their dehydrated states - by this point we're speechless. The crocodile pond was an absolute disgrace. The water was thick and green and stagnant. The crocodiles skin was green where they'd been in the dirty water. We bought a piece of meat to feed a crocodile, he couldn't be arsed to eat it either.

I know this is all pretty grim, but once we'd left and we're journeying back into the city, contemplating what we'd just seen, racking our brains as to how we could save them all (win the lottery/get a well good lawyer/start up a charity etc) we realised that as wrong as the animals conditions are, we've never witnessed any kind of third world or poverty before, and that this kinda stuff is happening all over the world, but we're all largely oblivious to it, choose to ignore it, and/or can't do anything to stop it. This probably isn't that unusual in Asia, and we're appalled by it because we have the ability to provide environments like Chester Zoo and Knowsley safari park. Because so many people haven't got a pot to piss in out here, innocent animals such as these consequently suffer.

The crocodile farm (or should I say animal graveyard) is stuck in a time warp - I doubt it's been updated for decades, and it probably won't be which is the hardest thing to accept.
This kinda stuff is all part of our journey and what we signed up for I guess.


To cheer ourselves up we went for a wander around a snide market selling overpriced fake goods, and made plans to go out with Johnny, Ryan and Pollit for a few drinks as it was our last night in Bangkok.
We met up, had a few San Mig Light's and then once we were sufficiently oiled, headed to Nana Plaza aka ladyboy town. We'd not yet seen any legit ladyboys, and there's no way we we're gonna leave Bangkok without seeing a bird with a cock. I can only describe it as confusing - beautiful face (some, not all), nice big/fake tits, bangin body (some even have hips - real or fake) but then a bulge in their bikini bottoms. Angin.

Our eyes have certainly been opened up these past few days - from ladyboys to dying animals, fermented oysters to a lovely meal for 2 costing £2, Bangkok is the most extraordinary and amazing place we've ever witnessed - and this is only the beginning!