Days 56-63

First mate Joey here filling you in on the first half of our week in the best city on earth. 

After a short coach ride across the boarder we arrived in Singapore. We weren't expecting much from it as all we'd really heard was that it's very expensive and very clean... buzzin. Looking back, I think our low expectations were a blessing because we were absolutely blown away by the place and had one of the best weeks of our trip so far. 

Our hotel was in a residential area called Geylang which is a pretty mental place full of local people and, as we quickly found out, dodgy dealings. It was quite similar to the places we stayed in Bangkok and KL so we didn't feel too out of place being amongst the very few tourists. We're quite used to standing out as the only obviously western people in an area now and being stared at is just normal for us these days. Our hotel was an absolute dive but as we couldn't afford anything in central Singapore we just had to deal with it. 

As soon as we'd settled in (if that's possible in a filthy room that stinks of urinal cakes) and had a quick browse on trip advisor for somewhere to go, we headed out into the city centre to get a scran - we were so so impressed. Full of beautiful buildings and with the best transport infrastructure we've seen so far we knew we were going to have a great week, regardless of the fact that everything's well expensive! We felt instantly at home in Singapore because of how easy it is to get around, and because of how modern and westernised the city is. We felt like we were in London or New York, and we loved it! My dad put me in touch with a guy he knows who lives in Singapore, and he kindly put together a list of all the best stuff to do, so we tried to work our way through that during the week. 

Something beautiful happened on our second day... We had bacon! Actual English style bacon, and oh how we'd missed it. Going off our list, after our worldly breakfast, we headed to the marina to have a wander around the Gardens By The Bay and across the Marina Barrage where you get an absolutely breathtaking view of the city. I'm not a massive fan of gardens and such like, but this was just beautiful and it reaffirmed our instant love of Singapore. Sadly the success of breakfast didn't continue through to our evening meal. We were intently streaming the intense Australian Open Final so just fancied nipping out quickly to grab a bite on Geylang Road. We dashed into this snide looking Chinese place to check out the menu. The lady owner stood over us and pressured is into ordering a chicken dish and a broccoli dish, and from the second we ordered we regretted it. It was quite pricey and the confusing Chinese menu left us feeling pretty daunted. When our food arrived we were given spinach instead of broccoli and pork instead of chicken, and when we tried to explain the woman started kicking off with us calling us liars saying that the pork was in fact chicken! She wouldn't back down for shit, so in the end we had to pay for the hangin fake chicken and our drinks and get the hell out of there as fast as we could. Feeling very frustrated and having lost all faith in finding a decent meal we went into an equally as snide Thai restaurant where we ordered two more of the worst meals we've had yet, however at least we got what the menu said we would, even if they did use Super Noodles. Thankfully we made it back to see Murray get thrashed. Singapore - 15, SK & Jo - love. 

 After walking past the famous Raffles Hotel on our first day we decided to YOLO a night in a well nice hotel, and it was the best decision EVER!!! We stayed in a luxury boutique hotel just around the corner from Raffles, and lived like kings for a night. We swam in the infinity pool, enjoyed free flow beers and wines at happy hour and had an absolute feast for breakfast the next day. We reckon we made our money back on freebies - get in. Sadly the dream ended very quickly and we had to go back to our urinal room. Sad. 

So, the dodgy dealings in Geylang I mentioned earlier. Geylang Road is a really long main road with smaller roads (called lorongs) coming off it, and basically all the lorongs are riddled with brothels and lined with pimps and hoes. We couldn't quite believe our eyes when we looked out of our hotel room window and saw probably 50 people directly outside the hotel, all of whom were either a pro, her pimp or a punter! Across the road we also saw a suspicious looking place completely lit up pink with a sheet over the door and men skulking around outside. This wasn't just going on on our lorong either, but on every one. Walking around in Geylang is like window shopping in the red light district of Amsterdam. We fast realised that it's a 24/7 game as well - there's always a way in Gey. Thankfully the goings on didn't directly affect us and we didn't get pestered or really feel that intimidated, but if we hadn't been together it probably would've been a different story.

Back to the captain. After our brilliant stay in the Naumi, and our less than pleasant time in Hotel 101 we were hopeful of a middle ground between the two from our final place of residence in Singapore. We were disappointed. The fragrance hotel we stayed in was disgusting. Extremely uncomfortable, very run down and basically just a dive. We changed rooms when we arrived, only to find that the second room was worse so we stayed put. We spent the following 3 nights arguing with the staff about an extra paper-thin pillow each. They just kept on putting us off, only to wake us up at 2:30am on the final night to ask if we still wanted one. Cheers. 

Singapore is famed for its zoo, it's considered one of the premiere zoos in the world, and so how could we not? We got up early and took a bus out of the city to the plush countryside where it's located, and spent the entire day just wandering around looking at the animals. Following our previous experience of a 'zoo' in Bangkok, this place looked like a heaven for the animals. Spacious enclosures, perfectly designed to suit the animals natural habitat, with fresh running water throughout. The animals looked healthy, and well fed and it was a pleasure to see some of their behaviours, including about 6 pairs of baboons going at it like... Rabbits. In the evening we went to the night safari, which was more structured and you rode a tram around with a guide, but it was equally good to witness some of the nocturnal animals going about their business. 

Wi-fi was a bit scarce in Singaporean hotels, surprisingly, so we spent a morning in Starbucks playing cards and keeping up to date with the happenings of the world. It was here that we decided to go to the cinema later that day to get out of the blistering heat. So we took a couple of trains up to Orchard Road and caught a mid-afternoon showing of Wild, a film about a woman backpacking across America. Kinda fitting in a way. Afterwards we had an Italian meal, and travelled back to Geylang where we had found an ice cream parlour, where they have all the creams ready and use nitrogen to freeze it in front of you. It was excellent. I had Nutella and coffee flavoured ice cream whilst Josephine had Lychee and Earl Grey. Edgy. 

We awoke on our final morning in Singapore with one thing in mind - that glorious bacon and egg barm from Boomarang. God knows when we'll be able to sample real English bacon again so we bent our unwritten rule of eating in the same place twice and went back. It was just as good. We followed this up with a walk through China town, and caught a few final sights before getting ready for our late night flight. We took a cab to the airport at 11pm, and spent the last few hours in Singapore wandering round one of the best airports we've ever seen. It's huge! We'll awake in Bali tomorrow, and in Singapore we got the best news we could have hoped for - Holly and Chelsey will be joining us for 3 weeks. Brilliant.  

Days 51-55

After 12 nights in Kuala Lumpur, it's finally time to move on. Sandwiched between our stays in two of Asia's mega cities (KL and Singapore) we have 5 nights in the much smaller coastal town of Malacca. A historical town which has been ruled by the Portuguese, Dutch and British throughout its existence, the town is formed around the Malacca river which winds its way through to the sea. 

We arrived here after a short, and once again luxurious coach ride from KL, and found our way to our guest house. A relatively comfortable place that backs on to the river, but our room was very basic, and the walls paper thin. We spent the first night wandering around and getting our bearings. We found a nice little bar through Trip Advisor, called Honky Tonk and sat by the river sinking Tiger beers. The owner, a Scotsman called John, sat and had a drink with us and told us a few things to do whilst we were in town. 

The next morning we went for a Roti Canai to cure the hangovers. Curry and breads for breakfast is fast becoming a favourite of ours. The rest of the day was spent mooching around, feeling very hungover and sorry for ourselves. Curry for tea topped off a day of Indian cuisine before an early night back in our noisy palace. The next day we went to try our hand at another escape room, this time themed on the seven deadly sins. We came closer to completing it, but faced with the final challenge, we opted to set off a load of bombs that killed the majority of the worlds population. Soz. After an afternoon of exploring we treated ourselves to a Nandos. 

We decided to take the camera for a walk the following day and see what sights Malacca has to offer. Not that many really, and when we got down to what we thought would be a bay or a harbour, we were met by a big fence, and about half a mile of barren land between us and the sea. A bit disappointing, but a few more drinks in Honky Tonk and some nice food turned it round. By this point, we were a bit sick of the hotel. There was a Chinese family, about 10 strong, who insisted on setting up in the communal area at around midnight, and talking through to the early hours. 

We watched a new film at the cinema, 'Wedding Ringers', on the Friday, pretty decent with a fair few laughs, before heading to the famous Jonker Street night market. It was pretty similar to every market we've seen so far, except there was a huge stage with Karaoke set up, and loads of older Chinese couples taking it very seriously. Good fun to watch. After a bite to eat and a couple of laps, we headed back to the hotel for an early night before leaving in the morning, only to find all the showers in use and when we finally got a chance to use them, the water had run out. Not just the hot water, ALL of the water. So a final rinse and brush of the teeth using bottled water had to suffice. Malacca kinda summed up our time in Malaysia; nice, but we were here too long. Lots more to look forward to now though - Singapore next, followed by Bali!!